The strengths and weaknesses of having a glorious beard

Harley Morenstein, wielder of one of the world’s most glorious beards.

Are you thinking about growing a beard? Because you should be. Here is how your life will be different once you grow a great, glorious beard.


  • You will have a glorious beard, and it will look amazing
  • Everyone will be in awe of you and your beard
  • It will help establish that you are cool and unique and fun-loving
  • Ladies love men with beards
  • Men love ladies with beards
  • You can play with your moustache
  • Other people can play with your moustache (only with permission, of course)
  • Your beard will stay with you through thick and thin
  • Keeps you warm in the winter


  • It is easy to bite your beard when eating
  • Be careful when drinking milk; you can get a literal milk moustache (the milk will get caught in your beard)
  • Anytime you lick your beard (unintentionally or deliberately), you will taste the food that you ate earlier
  • You have to groom it or else you will look crazy, and heaven forbid that you spend a few minutes on your appearance each day


You have decided to grow a beard. All men look better with a beard. Some women look better with a beard. Beards are just the greatest.

The late, great Robin Williams, made complete by his beard.